Flutters

I just want to remember today.

Nothing really big or suprising happened. Actually, I wasn’t feeling really well this morning. I was having chills inside my body but I don’t particularly have a fever. My head was aching, and I can’t focus in doing my tasks for the day. I ended up spending a lot more time with my bed .

While I was lying down though, I felt this sudden flutter in my womb. I just can’t mistake it for gas or anything. I am so sure it was my little one. I was so shocked that I shouted out of nervousness and I nearly leapt out of the bed! Then I laughed hysterically. 😂 I was so sorry for my little one. I bet he/she was flustered at my reaction.

What happened earlier was truly heartwarming. It brought me back to the reality that life is growing inside me, and I’ve got to do my best to keep it thriving inside until it meets the outside world.

This journey is turning me into a different person. With all the pressure and anxiety I am currently experiencing, I thank God because I know His grace is sustaining me day by day.

Blessed 29

Happy new year to me!

I am greeting my 29th year with a bundle of joy. I choose not to dwell on what happened over the past year; instead, I choose to move forward and expect greater things ahead of me. I know that my 29th year is going to be a tough one since I am treading a new journey. But I was waiting for this for a long time and I just can’t still believe that God gave me the opportunity even in the midst of the crisis we are facing. I am beyond grateful and humbled to be honest.

The responsibility that I need to face this year is quite overwhelming, and I am not very confident if I can pull it through. Yet I know that the grace of God is sufficient for me. The God who has been there for me for the past 28 years is the same God accompanying me today and until the rest of my life. That alone is enough for me to find peace amidst my fears and doubts.

Cheers to brighter days ahead!

P.S. I hope to post more here this year to channel my creative side. 😁

A Lesson Learned from Tohru Honda

Akito-meets-Tohru-in-Fruits-Basket

(Source: https://images.app.goo.gl/W8hK4CXJNT6upqeg7)

So this morning, I watched episodes 9 and 10 of Fruits Basket Season 2. There was this scene that really touched my core. This was when Tohru Honda, the female lead of the series, realized the curse that bind the Sohmas together and she developed the desire to break the curse despite the cruelty Akito, the head of the Sohma family, showed her during their encounter (refer to the scene above).

You see, Tohru is a really kind girl – too kind to the point that people think of her kindness as weakness or foolishness. But the scene earlier showed me how kindness can be a person’s strength. Not a lot of people would choose to respond kindness to enmity and hostility. The scene a while ago really made me think if I am capable of becoming that kind of person. It’s not easy to be kind especially when you are belittled or hurt. I believe that only people with pure hearts are able to turn their other cheek towards their enemy. Only those who draw their strength from the Lord are able to do so.

Kindness is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. We can never be kind while relying on our own strength alone. We need the supernatural work of the Spirit of the Lord within us so we can exhibit kindness to people. With our kindness, we can touch people’s lives. With our kindness, we can heal wounds and break chains. With our kindness, we can give hope to a broken soul.

So friend, I urge you to be kind. Be kind to your family. Be kind to your friends. Be kind to strangers. Just choose to be kind. You may think that people will abuse your kindness, but that isn’t your concern anymore, is it? You are not accountable for how people would respond to your kindness. You are accountable for how you treat the people around you. So, let’s learn to be our own kind of Tohru Honda. Let’s spread kindness. 🙂

 

P.S. You can always learn a thing or two from animes. 🙂

 

2020 Intentions

New year excites me. As a lover of new beginnings, a new year makes me feel hopeful and refreshes my spirit. But 2020 feels different. I can feel within my spirit that the Lord will do something great and mighty in my life this year. I am uncertain of what’s to come, yet I am putting all my hopes and faith in God who is the source of all good things.

For this year, I have set a couple of activities/habits that I intend to do. I hope I can stick to these intentions for the entire year. Here we go.

1. Be braver. I am a shy type of person and I have a low self-esteem. Whenever I think of doing something risky, my brain would automatically remind me to stay at my comfort zone to avoid dangers and disappointments. I intend to change my way of thinking this year. I want to pursue the desires God placed in my heart, and trust Him in the process. I will step out of my comfort zone and walk by faith.

2. Spend less time on social media. As I assess myself, I think a lot of insecurities I have result from spending too much time on social media. I tend to compare myself to the people I see in socmed, which in turn highlights my inadequacies in life. I don’t want to feel sorry about myself anymore because I know that God blesses me so much, and I am just blinded with the superficial things I see online. This time, I opt to log out so I can log in more into my life.

3. Pursue a healthful lifestyle. I have gained weight this year, and I am not really happy about it. My body feels full of toxins, and I want to get rid of those toxins so I can have more energy and vibrance to pursue the activities I want to do. Also, I feel like I am abusing my body, which is the house of the Spirit, by eating unhealthful food. This year, I wanted to be healthier and be more mindful of what I am doing to my body.

4. Have adequate rest and sleep. The body needs rest in order to recharge. I really feel like I have deprived my body with rest and sleep the previous year which resulted to very low energy level. In order for me to to accomplish my goals this year and enjoy the time I spend with my family and friends, I need to have adequate energy which can be achieved through having proper rest and sleep.

5. Sow love and faith. My 2019 is quite filled with negativities, self-doubt, and selfishness. I desire to be more purposeful and create an impact in the lives of the people around me. 2020 will not just be a year for myself but also for the people I love.

Posting these intentions online makes me feel more accountable of my actions. I pray that God will bless my desires for this year and may He find these things pleasing before Him.

How about you?What are your intentions for this year?

Hey reader

If you happen to stumble upon this blog post, I just want to tell you how awesome you are.Nothing and no one should ever tell you otherwise.After all, you are God’s creation, and His creations are His masterpieces. If you find it hard to believe this truth, then please consider this: no one in this world can ever be like you because you exist as you are.You don’t have any duplicate.Even identical twins have their own share of differences.Hence, you shouldn’t worry over things you don’t have.You don’t need to get envious at the people around you. Revel on the fact that you are unique. So please, stop making other people your own mirror. You don’t need to conform into their image because you already have your own. Accept the entirety of your being you.

Life in bullets

  • My husband just arrived from Korea. He didn’t buy any Korean skincare products that I told him to buy. Nonetheless, I am thankful that he came back to me safe and sound.
  • I still haven’t finished my portfolio plus the newsletter I ought to submit. My resolve is to finish everything this week.May the Lord’s grace be upon me.
  • Finished 5 anime series in two weeks. This is the reason why I haven’t finished my portfolio yet.
  • Updating this blogsite because I feel the need to dump my thoughts once in a while so they won’t mess up my mind. I’ll try to post at least twice in a week in lieu of spending time with other social media platforms that just waste my time without I noticing it.

Where’s my motivation?

Lately, I am kind of slacking in my job. I entertained various forms of distractions (but mainly watching anime) to keep my mind away from the job that’s waiting to get done. I know I should be getting my ass off the couch but I JUST DON’T FEEL LIKE WORKING.YET. The ancillary works related to my job are getting exhausting and I have this thought that I won’t be able to catch up, which apparently shouldn’t happen according to my workaholic brain. I feel like I’m under some sort of trance or spell that I find very hard to overcome. I hope this “lazy” feeling won’t last too long.

Maybe posting (and praying) about this will wake me up from this trance. Hopefully, this will result to a productive day tomorrow.

An October to remember

My new year starts every October.

Well, the month commences with my birthday – and I always get excited with that. New year feels spring from my heart every first day of October. I feel like I can start anew whenever this time of the year comes. But October 2018 is not like any other Octobers I have encountered.

This year’s October had been a roller-coaster ride for me. A lot of events happened at work that stretched me like never before. It was a journey of emotional pain and relief, joy and sorrow, encouragement and discouragement. My mind wobbled, my gut twisted, my heart exploded.

October 2018 brought out the best and the worst in me. I saw myself grapple with stress but I also discovered how resilient my spirit is. I had shed buckets of tears yet I was still determined to finish strong. My body had shown signs of surrender yet my resolve to overcome became greater than my pains. The going got tough but the tough me got going.

On top of everything that happened, I have few realizations. First, you will never fully gauge what you are capable of doing unless you get pressured. Pressure and stress reveal a person’s limits. I’m glad I discovered mine at this point of my career. Second, you need a support system that will hold you together when you feel like breaking. Find people who will stick up for you no matter how messy and outrageous you’ll get. If you have those people, treasure your relationship with then. Third, bear in mind that everything has its end. Whatever you are going through right now, that shall end in its time. Just bear it one day at a time.

What an eventful month it is. Surely, better and brighter days are still ahead. So, bring it on!

Victorious in Christ

Last week was such an eventful week for me.Aside from being busy in school, I was also assigned to lead the worship on Sunday worship celebration. Without being really negative, I was expecting an attack from the enemy during that week because that’s what always happens whenever I am assigned as the worship leader. True enough the enemy did not fail.

The attack started on Thursday. A misunderstanding took place in our family, and it broke my heart much. I was initially agitated and frustrated by the situation, but God kept on reminding me to stay still and pray about the situation.I did, and it was resolved.

I thought that was the only assault of the enemy against me.Boy, I was dead wrong. The enemy attacked my health next. Last Friday, I ended up overly fatigued after the examination of the students since I took charge of the entire examination process.Then, on Saturday, I washed our clothes at home.I was feeling really lethargic then, plus I had this dull pain in my left abdomen (probably due to gastritis?).Thoughts of not attending the practice anymore came to my mind, but of course I relented because running away from responsibilities is not my cup of tea.

In spite everything that happened, I felt really victorious after leading the worship services for the entire day yesterday.Though my body is tired, I could feel my spirit being strengthened and uplifted by the Lord.I feel like I can overcome more obstacles along the way because the joy of the Lord became my strength.

I bring all the glory to God. Indeed, when you yield yourself to Him, He gives you His grace to surpass challenges that will come along your way.

On Solitude

Sometimes the world becomes noisy – too noisy that you can’t even hear your own thoughts.

Sometimes the world deceives you with its luscious offers that it clouds your reasoning.

Sometimes the world treats you harshly – too harsh that it scars your ego.

Sometimes the world keeps on telling you to do and acquire more until your pursuit of the disguised vanities wears your soul.

Sometimes the world crushes your spirit with seemingly insurmountable ordeals that drain your zest for life.

And when you want to take a break from the bombardments of the world, you will find yourself wanting the company of yourself. Just you and no one else.

No matter how much the world occupies the shell of your being, the soul will always yearn to connect with the One that created it. Shutting yourself from the world ensures that you build that bond.

Solitude is the psyche’s refuge.